And sometimes I get a chance to just sit!

And sometimes I just sits

Have you noticed how the easy way to drive some people into a frenzy of indignation is to just sit quietly and relax? It is as if quiet enjoyment is some sort of depraved abomination and anybody indulging in it must be driven back to the paths of righteousness as rapidly as possible.

Thus and so I was sitting at my ease, watching the winter sun turning the clouds into flame. I freely admit that I was sipping a glass of a rather excellent white wine, but in my defence the bottle had been opened at lunchtime and it would have been criminal not to finish it whilst it was at it’s best.

I also had my pen out, with a sheet of paper, so that if pressed I could claim to be writing poetry, but frankly, appreciating the sunset took most of my attention and savouring the wine took the rest.

Then in breezes this Webster chap, full of himself as usual.

“Nothing to do Tallis? Don’t worry; I’ve got a job for you.”

In my most reasonable tone I said, “But I don’t need a job.”

“Nonsense, cannot have you vegetating. You need a task to get the blood racing, something which will stimulate your dormant artistic senses.”

At this point I was tempted to silence him with a witty retort, or alternatively just to throw him off the barge.

Unfortunately before I could frame my reply, he continued, “Nothing too difficult for you old chap. Just need you to write a few words about a book I’ve written.”

I must have groaned audibly, because he seemed to take umbrage. “There’s no need to moan, it’s perfectly simple, you’ll soon get it done and it’ll save you from slouching about looking bored and making the spot untidy. All you’ve got to do is tell people about the book and make sure they know where to find it and how good it is.”

“No pressure there then!” See how I can pick up bizarre modern idioms. A poet has to be able to master this sort of thing.

He ignored me, smiled in a self satisfied and slightly constipated manner and turned leave.

“Going somewhere interesting?” I asked.

He turned back and in a rather airy manner said, “Oh no, I’ve just got the fire lit and I thought I’d sit by it, have a glass of plum brandy and read something. After all some of us have had a hard day and need chance to relax.”

So there you have it, while he reads some trashy novel in comfort I’m left to do this.

So here it is; he’s put together another collection of tales about assorted livestock and dogs. Padded out with anecdotes drawn from family history or from the doings of sundry bizarre people he consorts with.

Make of that what you will!

Anyway I’m off out, some of us have patrons to entertain and wine to drink.

Oh yes, apparently you can find this book at


for a mere 99p


31 thoughts on “And sometimes I get a chance to just sit!

  1. Hey Tallis, I’d heard this Webster chappie was pretty sound, coat off his back for you, kind of fella (though as tight as barrel with his wine). Surely you could perhaps manage a couple of lines to drive the sheep in his direction?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It has been rumoured that so long as it didn’t involve him having to part with money, and he was giving away something that he didn’t need anyway, few could match him for open handed generosity

      Liked by 1 person

    1. How difficult could that be, I asked myself. So I did
      Except however I put the link to in, when the blog went live, the link took me straight through to !
      Even when I typed it in by hand!

      Anyway I’ll see if this works. The Link for those wanting to buy it in the US is

      Liked by 1 person

    2. It’s done it again! Whether it’s something to do with wordpress or not I don’t know, or Amazon linking the web page to the nearest Amazon
      Anyway to convert a UK amazon address to a US amazon address it’s simple
      The UK address will have in it
      all you have to do is delete the .uk and add in an m
      to produce

      Hopefully the automatics don’t screw this up!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ll remember that one. It’s letting the eyes glaze over without people thinking you’re about to explode in berserk fury that’s the difficult one
        Mind you that one works as well 😉

        Liked by 1 person

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