Have you noticed how the easy way to drive some people into a frenzy of indignation is to just sit quietly and relax? It is as if quiet enjoyment is some sort of depraved abomination and anybody indulging in it must be driven back to the paths of righteousness as rapidly as possible.
Thus and so I was sitting at my ease, watching the winter sun turning the clouds into flame. I freely admit that I was sipping a glass of a rather excellent white wine, but in my defence the bottle had been opened at lunchtime and it would have been criminal not to finish it whilst it was at it’s best.
I also had my pen out, with a sheet of paper, so that if pressed I could claim to be writing poetry, but frankly, appreciating the sunset took most of my attention and savouring the wine took the rest.
Then in breezes this Webster chap, full of himself as usual.
“Nothing to do Tallis? Don’t worry; I’ve got a job for you.”
In my most reasonable tone I said, “But I don’t need a job.”
“Nonsense, cannot have you vegetating. You need a task to get the blood racing, something which will stimulate your dormant artistic senses.”
At this point I was tempted to silence him with a witty retort, or alternatively just to throw him off the barge.
Unfortunately before I could frame my reply, he continued, “Nothing too difficult for you old chap. Just need you to write a few words about a book I’ve written.”
I must have groaned audibly, because he seemed to take umbrage. “There’s no need to moan, it’s perfectly simple, you’ll soon get it done and it’ll save you from slouching about looking bored and making the spot untidy. All you’ve got to do is tell people about the book and make sure they know where to find it and how good it is.”
“No pressure there then!” See how I can pick up bizarre modern idioms. A poet has to be able to master this sort of thing.
He ignored me, smiled in a self satisfied and slightly constipated manner and turned leave.
“Going somewhere interesting?” I asked.
He turned back and in a rather airy manner said, “Oh no, I’ve just got the fire lit and I thought I’d sit by it, have a glass of plum brandy and read something. After all some of us have had a hard day and need chance to relax.”
So there you have it, while he reads some trashy novel in comfort I’m left to do this.
So here it is; he’s put together another collection of tales about assorted livestock and dogs. Padded out with anecdotes drawn from family history or from the doings of sundry bizarre people he consorts with.
Make of that what you will!
Anyway I’m off out, some of us have patrons to entertain and wine to drink.
Oh yes, apparently you can find this book at
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B077C89YDH/
for a mere 99p
Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog and commented:
Also available from Amazon USA, CA, AUS, IN and all other Amazon Online outlets 👍😃
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Indeed if you send your Sedan chair to collect the author, and promise to recompense him modestly for his time, he’ll probably turn up and read the stories to you himself!
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LOL
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Hey Tallis, I’d heard this Webster chappie was pretty sound, coat off his back for you, kind of fella (though as tight as barrel with his wine). Surely you could perhaps manage a couple of lines to drive the sheep in his direction?
Hugs
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It has been rumoured that so long as it didn’t involve him having to part with money, and he was giving away something that he didn’t need anyway, few could match him for open handed generosity
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Love this! It’s a great way to promo a book. However–us Stateside people don’t have a lot of “p” hanging about–so do you have a dollar-type link?
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How difficult could that be, I asked myself. So I did
Except however I put the link to Amazon.com in, when the blog went live, the link took me straight through to .co.uk !
Even when I typed it in by hand!
Anyway I’ll see if this works. The Link for those wanting to buy it in the US is
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It’s done it again! Whether it’s something to do with wordpress or not I don’t know, or Amazon linking the web page to the nearest Amazon
Anyway to convert a UK amazon address to a US amazon address it’s simple
The UK address will have in it
amazon.co.uk
all you have to do is delete the .uk and add in an m
to produce
amazon.com
Hopefully the automatics don’t screw this up!
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Reblogged this on Sue Vincent's Daily Echo.
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hope you get a chance to slouch about and read it 🙂
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Reblogged this on Die Erste Eslarner Zeitung – Aus und über Eslarn, sowie die bayerisch-tschechische Region!.
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glad you liked it 🙂
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Yes, really, Jim! Have a good week. 😉 Michael
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yes, have a good one 🙂
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Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
Jim Webster has a new book. He even got Tallis Steelyard to write a few words for it.
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I have a feeling I’ll pay dearly for those few words 😉
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😀
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Reblogged this on anita dawes and jaye marie.
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I really must master the art of looking busy whilst relaxing 😉
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It’s quite easy, once you get the hang of it! Just let your eyes glaze over if anyone talks to you, and blame it on your so busy workload…
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I’ll remember that one. It’s letting the eyes glaze over without people thinking you’re about to explode in berserk fury that’s the difficult one
Mind you that one works as well 😉
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Could be something to do with your book links. Are you using a universal llnk for Amazon? That’s supposed to work…
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I’m not an Amazon Affiliate so I cannot apparently sign up for universal links
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I get mine from Booklinker.com, they work well and WP have never said anything!
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which bit, I got a page of boxes in at least two scripts 😦
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I’m no expert, but all of our published (by me) books, have a Booklink, which links directly to all Amazons when clicked on. Saves a lot of work!
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I’ll have to try and work out what’s going on with all the chinese script that google translate won’t tackle for me
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Not sure we are on the same page… but you sound as confused as I usually am!
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I just put http://booklinker.com/ into my search bar and got this weird page. It might do everything I hope for , but in Chinese!
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This could be my fault, I think it should be booklinker.net …
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yes, that makes sense, now I’ll have a look at it and try and work it out
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