There comes a time in life when some people discover that they can no longer continue in the career that has supported them so far. The rooftop burglar finds that his knees have taken too much damage from ridge tiles and tilting fillets. The man-at-arms discovers that he can no longer vault onto the back … More Retiring to somewhere quiet in the country
How does a city end up being the city it is? To paraphrase the wisdom of old, did the founders of Port Naain intend it to a city where, “To a key of gold, most doors swing open?” I suppose many cities have legends surrounding their founding. These always paint their founder in glowing colours, … More Three little girls from school are we?
My way of life means that I can be found walking through this city late at night, or even early in the morning, for perfectly respectable reasons. After all, I can hardly tell the hostess and her hard pressed household staff that I have to go home to my bed when they still have two … More A young woman at a window?
I confess that there are times when I am called upon to assist friends in tasks that really don’t require a poet. Such is life. Still one girds one’s loins and gets on with the task in hand. Such was the case when Lancet Foredecks asked if I would assist him with his scheme to … More Mud
There is an interesting phenomena that I have observed over the years. It is the inability of mothers (mainly) to accept that their offspring have grown up. It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a man, whatever his age, is still aged about eleven in the eyes of his mother. If he has married, this … More Getting round to it
I suspect it may be just ‘one of those things.’ The average lady is slightly shorter than the average gentleman. This slight difference is far more important than one might otherwise think as with it comes a shift in perspective. So for example I will leave something in a sensible place, at eye level where … More When you cannot quite reach
It has to be said that normally a story with this title would be illustrated by pictures of young ladies of remarkable pulchritude and comparatively little clothing. Indeed, forgive me my cynicism, but I have noticed that the number of people reading seems to increase in inverse proportion to the amount of clothing worn by … More The Primrose Path
I suppose most people have heard of the Reverential, Bounteous, and Peculiar Guild of Scriveners of Port Naain. I suppose it isn’t an entirely secret society, but nobody ever admits to being a member, even if they wear a small silver pen nib on the reverse of their jacket lapel. The membership originally seems to … More The Inky Fingered Gentlemen
It is not often I am summoned to appear before the Autocephalous Patriarch and frankly the less often it happens, the happier I am. I have noticed that it is rare for such worthies to send me a note saying something along the lines of, “Tallis, old chap, drop round for a spot of lunch … More Contextually Appropriate
Ordinations are a matter for the Office of the Combined Hierophants of Aea. All orders, from The Order of Aea Undivided downwards, will put candidates forward. The office will consider them and if there is any doubt, they will discuss matters with the nominating order. If, after a frank and open exchange of view, harmony … More The joy of the self-anointed.
Tallis Steelyard 